


Dean Knew

by givebackmylifecas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Coda, Dean Loves Cas, Destiel - Freeform, Ficlet, First Kiss, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, My First Fanfic, Season/Series 12, dean/cas - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-09-23 10:59:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9653075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/givebackmylifecas/pseuds/givebackmylifecas
Summary: All the times Dean knew he loved Cas.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This my first fic (it's just a little ficlet), like ever not just for this fandom. I hope you like it.
> 
> Also trigger warning for major character death, but it's not explicit. And vague spoilers up to season 12 episode 11

Dean had known it for a long time. 

 

He knew when he folded up the wet, stained trench coat and kept it in the Impala – a silent, beige reminder of how much he had lost.

He knew when the only thought he had those first months in Purgatory was “Find Cas” and he knew when that thought was eventually replaced with “Keep Cas safe”.

He knew when he felt the portal swallow him and spit him out into a world that might as well not exist, because Cas wasn’t there with him.

He knew when he told Cas to leave, and had to drown himself in whiskey every night to stop himself from picking up the phone, just to hear that gravelly voice on the other end of the line.

He knew when those blue eyes pierced his, and all he could hear over the roar of anger and bloodlust that the Mark sent rushing through him, was Cas promising to stay even when no one else could.

He knew when he watched as Cas’ body was dragged around like a puppet, with the devil himself as puppeteer, and all he wanted was to hear “Hello Dean” one more time in that distinctive timbre that no one could possibly hope to mimic.

He knew when he said goodbye, for what he thought was the last time, and had to tell Cas to stay – again.

He knew when even having his mother back with him, alive and well, was eclipsed by the blur of a trench coat coming towards him and strong arms encircling him.

He knew when those agents separated him from Sammy and locked him in a concrete box and all he wanted was to see the shadow of frayed and torn wings on the wall, promising him that he wouldn’t die there.

He knew when Cas echoed what he himself had said in the crypt so many years ago, that he needed him.

He even knew when his mind was failing him and he wasn’t sure what his name was, but somewhere deep inside he still knew this.

He knew when he got back to the bunker and he let Cas get closer and closer. He knew when Cas leaned forward to press the lightest of kisses to his lips.

He knew when he kissed Cas goodbye the next day and watched him leave the bunker for what he later realised was the last time.

He knew when he heard Cas tell him to run, so he wouldn’t have to see him die.

He knew when he refused and held him, even as the world came crashing down around them. 

He knew later, when Sam forced him into the bathroom and he looked in the mirror to see the large burns spread across his chest, the edges uneven and tattered.

 

He knew he had never said it, had never told Cas that he loved him. But he also knew, that Cas knew. And that was all that mattered.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked this, please leave any criticism, I'd be super grateful (but also for kudos or nice comments).  
> Also my tumblr is givebackmylifecas, feel free to stop by.   
> (Tumblr link: http://givebackmylifecas.tumblr.com/post/157085212400/dean-knew-season-12-ficlet )


End file.
